The article Marriage and Love by Emma Goldman discusses the idea of how love is related to marriage. Goldman states that marriage and love have nothing in common. “No doubt some marriages have been the result of. Not however because love could assert itself only in marriage.” This is perhaps the quote that best sums up her article. Goldman states that marriage is just a convention that we can’t outgrow. It is something that we do because we think that it’s right. She also says that one of the main reasons that people get married today is for economic reason. One of the other points that she brought up was the marriage cannot make you fall in love with a person; you need to love before you marry them in order to make it work. I completely agree with her ideas on marriage. Today in the United States I think that some people make a mockery out of marriage. They marry for a variety reasons, money, parental approval, military, that have nothing to do with love. The text even points out that some people “sell” their daughters into marriage for economic gain.
The second article that I read was the Myth of the Perfect Mother. In this article Judith Warner is describing a problem in the United States that most women face. She is balancing two jobs, being a full time job and having a career outside of the home. She describes it as a task that a lot of women deal with. Men are not expected to take on this double role. Women and their children are constantly competing with other families to be on the top. It is necessary to have an array of activities and to be the best at them. This leads to a very demanding schedule for women. This epidemic as she calls it is something that I have seen firsthand. My mom balanced a full job in the city and then she came home and cooked dinner and took me to my activities. This would be considered ok but my mom also had to be the head of everything, she was the Girl Scout leader, softball coach and class mom. She would wake up and do this day after day; it was a never ending cycle because it is just considered routine for most women.
The final article that I read was Only Daughter. Sandra Cisneros article is about growing up an only daughter in a Mexican society. The main goal for her in her father’s eyes was to marry. This enforces the fact that the text states that marriage is often for economic reasons. However when she did become successful her father realized that it was not the only thing that she could accomplish. Today this is not something that we often times worry or even think about. It is just as acceptable for women to go to college as it is for a man. No one wants to be considered a “Old Maid” which is a stigma that is associated with not marrying but often times if you are successful in your career it is overlooked. When women can be financially independent they no longer need a man to support them.

Gender and sexual violence have a very strong connection. Some people could even say that the reason for sexual violence is because of gender standards in the United States.
There are very clear standards of how certain genders should act. Society has certain sexual scripts which “reflect social norms practices and workings of power...” (pg 165). These scripts often times give people an idea of the way that they are supposed to act. Men are supposed to be strong and dominating. In Kimmel’s article he discussing that men are constantly ranking one another. The man on the top is that one that is the most powerful and dominating. Often time’s men think that one way to show this dominance is through violence. On the other hand women are often times at the other end of the spectrum. Social standards and sexual scripts set standards so that women should be more timid subservient.
These standards often carry over into relationships between men and women. Men play these more dominate roles such as the economic provider and women play the more sensitive roles such as the homemaker and caregiver. These roles often set women up to be dependent on men and allow men to be the power players in the relationships. These feeling of dominance can lead to the violence in relationships.
It should be noted that as stated in the text men can also show dominance over other men and lead to violence among them. Women can also be the ones that are violent however, female violence is often times more emotionally harming than physically harming.
Over time all societal standards change. That is to say that eventually one day the typical ideas of how males and females act may one day change and that these issues will no longer be prevalent. This is not saying that sexual violence will end when there is equality among the sexes but I do believe that it will greatly decrease when men feel that they no longer have to show dominance over women, and one way to do that is through violence. The first step in stopping this is education and encouraging both males and females to take on both feminine and masculine roles.

In interviewing I found that all four people found the statistics from the textbook alarmingly high. Perhaps the most shocking statistics of them all was that every two minutes a sexual assault occurs (555). Most people have no idea that these acts of violence against women are so common.
While interviewing the four people I could definitely see that there was varying ideas between the male and female responses and ideas about violence in general. The two women that I interviewed were very sympathetic to the issues. They seemed as if they could relate to the idea of violence against women or knew someone that had been a victim. The two women that were interviewed also never implicated that women could be the cause of the violence against them. They contributed the idea of violence to the fact that men feel they need to control situations and violence is an easy way to do this. One women interviewed said “men are on a power trip and are envious that women can so easily adapt to situations, they can be the homemaker and the bread winner. Violence is a way that they can keep power in check.” This power struggle that she mentioned can in fact being one of the reasons that men turn to violence against women and other men.
The two males that were interviewed were much less open to discussing violence against women, almost as though they thought they were being placed in this group of violent males. They were both sympathetic to the abuse that women encounter, however they both made it very clear that it was something that they had never been apart of. It was as though they thought because they were male they were automatically accused. I also felt that they guys did not relate to the situations, it was as if they knew it was going on but they shut it out.
Although there were very clear differences in why violence against women occurs, one common theme was how to try to fix it. All four people agreed that education is the best way. At a young age kids are easily molded and that is the best time to get across the ideas that need to change in order to decrease domestic violence.
I found these interviews to be an eye opener. I also did not know that the statistics for violence against women were so high and I found them quite surprising. However perhaps the most surprising difference that I found during these interviews is that there is definitely a difference in the opinions of men and women about violence.

One of the main issues that face the United States today is our health care system and within that there is the issue of reproductive rights. Women today have a variety of resources that allow them to control their reproduction. These resources have been a struggle to obtain and people are still trying to take them away and make them more limited.
As the text points out “a key aspect of reproductive rights is the extent to which women can control their reproductive and therefore shape the quality and character of their lives.” The right for women to be able to choose is a concept that is continually under attack by the America society.
One of the first ways of preventing reproduction was the practice of sterilization. This includes such processes of tubal ligation and hysterectomy. It is a method of permanent birth control. These processes often carry a bad stigma because in history they have been used in the social practice called eugenics.
Another preventive practice is that of the pill. In 1965 in the Supreme Court ruling of Griswold v. Connecticut married couples were for the first time allowed to use birth control. This right was extended to single people in 1972 and then finally to minors in 1977.
The availability of birth control methods often depends on women’s socioeconomic status. For example women on welfare are more likely to be sterilized than women who are not. Another ironic fact is that Medicaid often pays for some sterilization practices while they often do not pay for other birth control options.
All of these practices are there to prevent pregnancy. However when it does occur there are two options, emergency contraception pills and abortion. These are perhaps the most controversy of the birth control methods.
Emergency contraception pill are taking within days of sex to prevent the fertilization of the egg. Thus it is not an abortion. It is also approved by the FDA.
Abortion is often a hot topic in political debates. People typically divide themselves into two categories, Pro-choice and Pro-life. Pro-life advocate’s not practicing abortion while pro-choice advocates the right for the women to choose what option she wants. A side note is that most women who consider themselves feminist also consider them selves pro-choice, however there is an exception. One of the major abortion decisions came in the ruling of Roe v. Wade which overturned the ban on abortions in the states. Since then there have been many people that have tried to go against this ruling.
The right of choice in the matter of reproduction is probably something that we all be an issue in American society. In order to maintain the women’s rights it is always something that we will have to fight for.

In the video Killing Us Softly it is pointed out that in addition to selling products advertisements also sell sex and normalcy. They tell us who we should be and what we should look like. Advertisements also tell women that they most important thing is how we look. They tell us how we should get that look and most importantly if we don’t succeed then we failed. Often these images are unrealistic. They set up standards that are impossible for the average women to reach.
Some advertisements are trying to go against these ideas. For example the Dove campaign is encouraging that women come in all shapes and sizes. The ad is encouraging that size isn’t everything.
However this is a rare idea most ads still encourage the perfect body and the image of what women should be. For example most high fashion ads like Versace, Prada and Channel show images of women who are unrealistically thin. In addition the commercials for the male body spray Axe use the tagline “How Dirty Boys get Clean.” It shows a man who uses the spray and then women jump all over him. The ad makes it look like women are so easily swayed that all men need to do is wear it.
As the text points out these ideas often come from white men in power positions. They are often not even close to what actual norms in reality are.

The idea of beauty is something that is changeable. What is beautiful today is not something that was necessarily beautiful 100 years ago. Today women concentrate on having the perfect body. They diet and exercise to get that perfect size, they shave and wax and they tan and dye their hair. All these practices are in an effort to get that idea image. Where exactly does that idea image come from? The media is one of the main outlets. The media often shows women being attractive when they are thin and fit. Shows like Nip/Tuck and Dr. 90210 encourage plastic surgery to fix those aspects of you body that aren’t consider perfect. Americas Next Top Model encourages the idea of being thin; a plus sized model on the show is 140 pounds. These ideas of being able to make the perfect body have created million and billion dollar industries. As the text points out the dieting industry is one of the most productive. Beauty products, exercise machines and cosmetic surgery account for other money makers. Women want to be beautiful by society standards and are willing to do anything to get. They will buy every product that claims to make them loose weight faster or get the perfect tan.
Today’s ideal body in the US is one that is thin, toned and often the women have large breasts. As the text points out most of these bodies are white and when women of color are shown they often have white features. Like many other aspects of our society the standards of beauty are often set by those in power. They set the trends and enforce the standards of what is “expected” to be beautiful. Most of these power players are white males. Women are more likely to adhere to these “beauty norms”. They are more likely to be the ones that but the products and buy into what they are supposed to be like. You very rarely see a man on TV getting lipo and men never have to worry about the size of their breasts or butt. These ideas of what is considered right make it increasingly hard to accept you own body. You have an idea of what you should be and when you don’t reach it you feel like you body isn’t up to par.
These idea’s of what are considered beautiful varies among cultures. Latinas and black women are more accepted to be “thicker”. White women are still expected to be thin. However, some aspects are universal among all races. For example hair is always better if it’s straight. The politics of beauty is something that you see everyday, whether it’s on TV or in a magazine. It is something in our society that we can’t escape and something that will always be present. It is simply another way that society defines us and tells us what we are supposed to be.

Tough Guise

In the reading by Kimmel he points out that men are constantly ranking one another. To be at the top of that ranking you need to be considered tough, powerful. Men constantly want other men’s approval. He then brings up the point of homophobia he says that for men it is the fear that they will not measure up as a man. In order to prevent one of the sure fire ways that they know they can show their masculinity is through violence.
The idea of why violence plays such an important role in masculinity is brought up by Jackson Katz. Jackson Katz says that the “tough guise” is the image the men and boys feel that they need to put on in society to be accepted. Today words that are used to describe masculinity are physical, strong, independent, powerful and tough. Men do not want to be considered wimps or sissies.
There are several reasons for these ideas according to Katz, one being the media. The media often portrays men of color as violent. This gives the idea of it being socially acceptable. Also men think that women want tough guys. Families and communities also encourage these ideas of toughness.
Because of these ideas it is often considered that being violent is often an accepted part of masculinity. Both males and females are hurt by this idea. Often men take their violence out on other men. However women’s lives are also affected
With out this idea of masculinity equals violence, both male and female lives would improve. In order to do the images portrayed in the media need to change. Women also need to let men know that is it okay to be sensitive and that being a dominant male is not always necessary.
I completely agree with everything that Katz talk about. You can see these ideas everyday in the media and even in your everyday life. Men have the idea that if they are tougher and more powerful they will have dominance of women and even other men. Being tough is considered a form of power.

Sexual scripts reflect social norms, practices and workings. In turn they provide frameworks and guidelines for sexual feelings and behaviors. In our society males typically dominate and are considered the center, a term known as patriarchy. This idea of patriarchy then allows it to be socially acceptable for women to take the more “back seat” role in relationships. The roles or positions in a relationship that a person holds are known as the “politics of sexuality.”
Depending on your gender, male or female, often dictates the role you play in the relationship. Traditionally men play the more dominate, authoritative roles, while women are considered more passive. In society men are also considered more the economic provider and women in contrast are supposed to take care of the home. If a woman does work home chores are still considered a responsibility and often times it is the priority. These roles that we are supposed to maintain are a product of out culture and society. These roles also change over time and throughout different cultures. For example boys are often taught not to show emotion while in girls it is encouraged. Also men are taught to play more dominant roles. As a result of these standards roles often encourage male dominance in heterosexual relationships. The text also states that “romance is one of the key ways that sexism is maintained in society (pg 175).”
Society also sets standards for what is socially accepted within relationships. Typically the societal norm in the United States is a heterosexual relationship, one between a man and a woman. However today there are also homosexual and bisexual relationships. The sexual preference of an individual is known as their sexual identity.
Even within these groups some are considered more acceptable than others. Bisexuality often carries the most negative connation by both straight and gay communities. They are often considered “over-sexed” individuals who are simultaneously have male and female sexual relationships. But in reality being bisexual doesn’t mean this at all.
Another negative stigma that occurs in none heterosexual relationships is that gay couples will raise gay children. Some people think that gay and lesbian couples will not make proper parents. However research shows that they can make just as acceptable parents as heterosexual parents. Despite this adopting and even working in jobs relating to children can be considered a challenge.
Overall this section illustrates another way the society sets norms and standards for people. Once again women typically are not the dominate individual and often do not hold an equal role.

Midterm

Sex and gender are two terms that in society are commonly used as interchangeable words with in society. However, so far in this women’s studies class the differences between the two were made clear. Gender can be defined as “the way society organizes understandings of sexual differences.” (pg 1) The text also states that gender involves the way that society creates, patterns, and rewards our understanding of femininity and masculinity. Sex deals with more the biological factors, male or female.
Gender is one of the factors that shape’s a person’s identity. Gender is not static and is a constantly changing idea. Interactions within society help shape each individuals idea of gender. There is no correct interpretation of what gender is it is open to each individual’s ideas.
One of the major things that the idea of gender odes in society is provides ideas of norms that each person should adhere to. These societal norms are not necessarily correct, they are just social standards. These norms dictate how boys act and how girls act. The ideas of typically began to be defined at a young age. One example that the text uses is the idea of the tomboy and sissies. It is acceptable for girls to be considered tomboys but boys can not be considered sissies. Certain actions are considered acceptable for males and females. These ideas mold behaviors.
To many people gender is a concept that is commonly confused. Three frameworks that help gender be understood are social construction, Kate Bornstein idea of the gender pyramid and Anne Fausto-Sterling’s idea that two genders are not enough.
First is the idea of social construction. Judith Lorber states the first step in gender construction is labeling depending on the genitalia that you are given at birth. Babies are then typically dressed accordingly. As you get older you are then treated differently depending on your gender. During your teenage years you know what is expected from you because of you gender and you began to fill those roles. Gender also constructs ideas of what certain role are supposed to entail. Mothers and fathers have two totally different parenting roles. When this “norm” is broken people are looked at differently. For instance in today’s society it is very odd for a man to be the “stay home dad” but it is completely acceptable for the women to stay home while the man goes out into the work force. Gender creates norms that member within society function by and these norms are learned at a young age.
The second framework that makes sense of gender is Kate Bornstein idea of a gender pyramid. Bornstein says that in society we need to separate gender and sex. She says that you do not have to identify as either male or female but you can be a mixture of both. She puts the ideas of gender into a pyramid like structure. The majority of people should be able to fit into one of these categories.
Another similar framework is that of Anne Fausto-Sterling, and the idea that two genders are not enough to classify every individual. One of her major points in that some people do not have a correct “sex”. Biologically they do not fit into either category of male of female. Her question is then were do they go? This is the basic idea for why there should be more than two genders.
One other are that gender plays an important role is in science and technology. Gender from the beginning has been shaped by science and technology. From the beginnings of science gender was present. As Nelly Oudshoor points out in her article in the beginning stages of anatomy there was a one sex model. Later on the female was thought of as simply the lack of male genitals. Today every part of the human body (except the eyes) can be identified as either male or female.
In comparison certain ideas about gender also shape science and technology. For example today on the internet people have the freedom to not have to identify with a specific gender and they can also have to ability to become the opposite gender.
Today technology and science are two very important aspects in our society. Women’s studies scholars see the importance of distinguishing the roles of gender in these areas to help better define them.
Gender is a concept that will always be evident within society. However as stated earlier it is one that can be changed over time. As the idea of gender changes certain thing will become more socially acceptable. Making certain aspects more socially acceptable will further help lead to equality among the genders and less definition of roles based on being male or female.